A hush drifts through the audience as the tuxedo-clad PJFunGuy approaches the podium. The solemn and dignified Sir PJ, Handsome Knight of the Realm hands PJFunGuy his speech. He clears his throat....|
He pauses for effect, clears his throat again.
Suddenly there is a commotion at the back entry. Sircyber jumps up and throws open the door. Three suspicious appearing characters muscle a large, unobtrusive black box down the aisle toward the stage where the two men stand, scowling. Sir PJ turns to his friend and whispers...
"PJ, I do not like the looks of this"
PJFunGuy grins (yes, yes, as usual!)
"It's all right! It's just Otis, Beckmann and Desinn, my buds from the Poor Men's Club! Probably a belated gift"
The three men heft the large box onto the stage then take off running, leaving the two men with baffled looks on their faces. Sir PJ sighs...
"I don't know. That box bears an alarming resemblance to your mysterious, unobtrusive black toy box and you know what happens every time it's around"
PJFunGuy grins (BORING)
"Hum, yes, you are correct. Perhaps I should do my arm waving routine just in case"
A massive groan issues forth from the audience as gathered well wishers frantically reach for umbrellas. Kealani springs to her feet...
"TOWELS! GET YOUR 107% GENUINE HAWAIIAN COTTON TOWELS HERE!"
Knowing PJFunGuy's continued "success" rate with his arm waving routine, many people, never the less, were terribly negligant in remembering to bring their umbrellas. Kealani quickly sold out. Angry shouts began eminating from the audience. Desdemona stands...
"Oh Gomez! Bonne Nuit! My dress! You must desist!"
Several voices join in. PJFunGuy pouts...
"Aw shucks! Just when it was getting interesting. All right! Everyone calm down. I have a speech to make! By the way, Des, lovely dress!"
Everyone sits, still warily eying both the box and PJFunGuy's arms. Sir PJ looks relieved. PJFunGuy again clears his throat....
"AHEM! Thank you so very much for coming to my party and wishing me so many wonderful wishes. I am deeply honored. And, in honor of this......"
A shriek from the audience interrupts another of PJFunGuy's long, dry, philosophical speeches. The two PJ's glance at the mysterious, unobtrusive black box. Orange smoke is slowly pouring out from under the lid.
"EGADS! It's the arm waving routine or we're in for it"
As PJFunGuy raises his arms in the air and begins to assume the mystical expression in eyes, PeteP stands and hefts a genuine Colorado Rocky Mountains Snow Ball in the general direction of the stage. A roll of floral print toilet paper, tossed by patti.cake sails by the podium. MKSS, Punkin, IMNANGEL, Jagg and Mishakal are standing in the corner singing Bavarian Folk Songs, slightly off key. Black Prince is herding a herd of goats down the aisle. SWCowboy, Rabit and CEWelch are spinning their lassos after the goats. Bratsy, Tight Jeans, Weezie and Lapess are wildly dancing. WitchyBitch's broom soars helter skelter, sans Witchy. Toto's house crashes through the side of the auditorium. Tin Lizzie's truck loses it's brakes and rolls, driverless, down the aisle. Pandemonium reigns. A Florida Crocodile lands with a loud plop on the stage, delivered by Iggy, Fly and Ski. PJFunGuy shrieks and Sir PJ fiercely brandishes a sword as the crocodile makes for the podium. GolfDr smacks several orange golf balls toward the menacing reptile. 8ArmSly rushes the stage and shouts...
"I'll handle this!" (groan)
The crocodile waves off 8ArmSly and takes PJFunGuy's speech. He clears his throat....
In baffled amazement, the audience instantly quiets down and gawks at the crocodile now standing at the podium...
"My friends, we are all gathered here together to have TOO MUCH FUN and celebrate life!..."
As the crocodile is meandering through PJFunGuy's long, boring, dry philosophical speech, Sir PJ whispers to his buddy....
"Yo, dude, there's a zipper on the back of that crocodile"
The PJ's stealthily slip forward and grasp the zipper end, suddenly yanking it down. The startled crocodile gasps as the Handy Duty Genuine Schmedley Brand, All Occasion Crocodile Suit (tm pending) falls away to reveal...
"Sheltius and Biggbangg! Hey! You two really threw us for a loop! What do you think you're doing?"
The giggling and drawling newlyweds grin (hey! everyone grins in these dumb stories)
"Well, ya'll needed some spicing up so we got this here crocky suit to liven up the party!"
Pandemonium reigns supreme once again! (grin)
photo and page design by Paul Johnson
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